I’m sure we all spend time looking back asking ourselves what if’s. What if I’d have done this differently? What if I’d have known back then about…? Some of us do a better job of avoiding those thoughts than others, but we all have them at some point and time.

I still think back on times I just felt like I never fit in. It was more frequently than I’d like to admit. In fact, that feeling still seems to linger with me in adulthood. I know I’m not the only one who’s experienced this. There’s a lot of us. That pain of that exclusion in youth stays with us. Even as we get older, and learn ways to ‘fit in’, it doesn’t just go away.

I’ve learned, now, when to ease up, when to speak up, and when to stay quiet. I’ve learned how to manage it, but I’ve never fully been able to rid it completely. At times, it creeps up and nags at me. It still stings. But then, I remember to be thankful for it. I remember that without pain, we have no growth. Without losses, we have no reason to fight. Without pain, we have no way to relate to others. We’d have no empathy. My pain is my superpower. Its the chip on my shoulder, and a driving force. I hope it never fully leaves me… Maybe you’ve got one too?