By the time I got to Greece, I was 40 days, 21 cities, and 15 flights into the trip. I was exhausted! Plus, it was hot. I’m talking ridiculously hot. I was drenched in sweat, everywhere I went. Oh, and also, in an effort to save money, I had booked a hostel with no A/C, a decision I quickly regretted.

My flight landed in Mykonos late. A hostess from the hostel picked us up and bussed us to our hostel. Upon arrival, I walked around a bit around the oceanfront past all the bars and businesses. Everything was closing down, and it was getting quiet. Faint music, and the ocean tide lightly polluted the otherwise silent the air. After walking for a while, I found a cool spot to sit, and stare at the ocean. I pulled out my sketchbook to sketch and take it all in. Right then and there, I realized I was probably sitting in front of the most picturesque, beautiful, scenic place of my whole trip. I was sitting in sand, on a warm beach, at dusk, with nightfall slowly covering everything. It was calm, peaceful, and with the exception of the occasional passer by, it was just me. There was one boat out resting on the ocean, and a bunch of dimly lit homes on the other side of a part of the island that jutted out.

I was sitting in the most picture perfect view, in the most picture perfect place, and yet all I could think about was how alone I felt.

For most of the whole trip I’d felt alive and free. I met new people everyday from all over the world, and loved it. Now I was sitting in the sand, in the dark, illuminated by a just a few overhead lights, listening to the waves crash, and all I could feel was the sharp sting of intense loneliness.

I began questioning everything about this trip. Why did I plan this? What was I trying to prove? I’m here alone. Is this really about getting out of my comfort zone, or am I just a loser? All of these thoughts hit me hard, and as I sketched, I couldn’t seem to shake them.

That line from Third Eye Blind’s song ‘Motorcycle Drive By’ kept playing in my head,

‘… And I’ve never been so alone, and I… I’ve never been so alive.’

… I’d resonated with that song hundreds of time when I’d been alone, yet somehow this time I couldn’t make myself believe the second half of it. I didn’t feel alive. I didn’t feel peace. I didn’t feel happy. I just felt sadness.

I decided to just sit in it though. I tried not to shame or guilt myself. I reminded myself that this is part of life. Everyone feels this at certain times. It’s not inherently good, or bad, it’s just life, and in time, it would go away. So I just sat in it, and I sketched.

The beautiful thing I’ve learned about traveling like this, is that it just heightens all of your emotions. When you feel good, you’re on top of the world. When you’re feeling free, nothing can hold you back. You’re conquering the world. And when you’re feeling alone, it’s intensified that much more. You are literally all alone.

So I just embraced it, and I created some art in it. It was just a moment that would pass. The next day, I woke up and it was gone, and I was free for a few more days to travel and conquer the world with a sketchbook.