Deconstruction: From a Clinical Psychologist's Perspective

“If you ask a disagreeable person what he or she wants, they’ll tell you right away. They know. It’s like “This is what I want, and this is how I’m going to get it.” But agreeable people, especially if they’re really agreeable, are so agreeable, that they often don’t even know what they want. Cause they’re so accustomed to living for other people, and to finding out what other people want, and to trying to make them uncomfortable, and so forth, that it’s harder for them to find a sense of their own desires as they move through life.”

- Jordan Peterson, Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto

“I would say generally speaking, if you want to adapt yourself properly to life, you should find a niche in the environment that corresponds with your temperament… You shouldn’t work at cross-purposes to your temperament, because it’s just too damn difficult.

But having done that, then you should work developing the skills and the viewpoints that exist in the space opposite to your personality. Because that’s where you’re fundamentally underdeveloped. And that way I think you can extend out your temperamental capability across a wider range. And to me that’s roughly equivalent to bringing a richer tool kit to each situation.

You know, so if you’re hyper extroverted, you should learn to shut up at parties now and then, and listen just to see what’s going on, to see if you can manage it, you know? And if you’re introverted, well then, you should learn how to speak in public, and to learn how to go to parties without hiding in the corner and saying nothing to anyone…

And if you’re agreeable, you should learn to be disagreeable, so people can’t push you around. And if you’re disagreeable, you need to learn how to be agreeable, so you’re not an evil son of a b——.

… So the same thing applies even in the conscientious domain. It’s like, if you’re too conscientious, you need to learn to relax and let go a little bit. And if you’re unconscientious, it’s time like… get out the google calendar, man, and start scheduling your day.

- Jordan Peterson, Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto

Source:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di2FM8WZI5E