You Know What Hurts Worse

It’s hard to be confused. It hurts being lost, and having to search for directions. But you know what hurts worse?

Knowing everything.

What hurts is the misery of trying to be perfect. What hurts is the weight of living a mistake free life. What hurts is a life of contradiction, a life of no grace, when it’s the very thing you preach. What hurts is watching everyone live their life while we stay boxed into our own.

What hurts is being told to act like you know it all when you feel like you know nothing. What hurts is seeing all the flaws in the people you looked up to, and not feeling like you can have any for yourself.

And yet there are some people who wish to present themselves to the world as being without flaw—even without anything that anyone could construe as a flaw, or a failing, or a weakness. They wish to be impervious to criticism. They put in considerable effort into this pointless endeavor.

I recommend speaking up, especially if you are one of those people who are excessively concerned about some symptom you have or some failing. You cannot put these weaknesses in perspective unless you see that most people will accept you in spite of them. Most of the time they will not think twice about something that may have haunted you for years.

Some people will disapprove of you, of course. No matter who you are, some people will disapprove. Oftentimes, such people are in the business of looking down on everyone. They judge everybody unfavorably because of their own emotional needs. They will consider some people not well-enough educated, or from the wrong background, or too something or other—not classy enough for them, perhaps. Such a person—even if he or she is a family member—is not worth paying attention to.

It is possible to grow accustomed to this fact: Some people will like and approve of you, and some won’t. Some people (family members frequently) have a vested interest in thinking you are deficient. They will think you are in the wrong no matter what you do. But others will take one look at you and approve. They will admire you for things you take for granted. Try to find these people.

- Fredric Neuman M.D., Princeton University.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201306/caring-what-other-people-think