I Became An Artist

As a kid growing up, I always loved to draw and paint pictures. There was just this amazing feeling I got from working hard, through the difficult process of drawing, to then creating something new and real at the end of all of it.

You can probably relate to that, because pretty much all children love art and love drawing. It’s just a part of our DNA to create and build things.

The problem is, as we get older, we become more aware. We begin to notice what other people are thinking of us, and begin to make judgments about our own abilities. We begin to notice that those drawings we created don’t really quite look realistic, or we say: “my drawing isn’t as good as theirs”.

Many of us at this point stop. Finding out we’re ‘less than’ others, or ‘not good enough’, is reason enough to stop. It’s not so much that we lose the love of drawing; it’s that we realize ‘we’re not good enough’. And we believe that, the struggle is only worthwhile if the endpoint is success, via affirmation from others.

But what is success? Success, like art, is such a subjective term. It could be defined in many different ways by many different people. Is success money? Is success having a spouse and 2 1/2 children? Is success being better than everyone else; being someone people can envy? Is success having good friends? Is success making sure you’re not ‘too far behind everyone else’?

How can you be successful when you’re constantly looking for everyone else’s approval? How can you be successful unless you yourself are enjoying the journey?

There are many examples throughout history of people who are ‘successful’ yet miserable. They’re not miserable because of the things they own, or the work they do. At the end of the day, all of that is subjective. They’re miserable because the path they took to happiness and peace was solely through looking for the approval of others. They’re miserable because they don’t feel peace inside, and they don’t feel like they’re ‘good enough’. I use the term ‘they’ loosely when describing these people, because I think there’s a bit of that miserable person inside all of us. I see it in myself at times. It’s the same one that says, you’re drawings aren’t ‘good enough’.

On the other side of this, there’s another kind of success. It’s the success that comes from sticking through something difficult, making something, and not being overly critical of yourself at the end. It’s the success of saying: I am enough, and I’m happy where I am right now. It’s the success that comes from enjoying the journey, whatever the outcome.

Isn’t that really what success is? Isn’t it really just enjoying the journey? Isn’t there something successful about waking up everyday and amidst all the miserable, frustrating, difficult challenges that lie ahead, having a reason to keep going?

My end goal with my art, is not as important as the journey I travel while making it. So whether I succeed or fail in making a satisfactory piece of art to anyone else, I’ve already succeeded, if I make it with passion and enthusiasm.

Vincent Van Gogh put it best when he said:

“… I’m an artist… those words naturally imply always seeking without ever fully finding. It’s the exact opposite of saying, “I know it already, I’ve already found it. To the best of my knowledge, those words mean I seek, I pursue, my heart is in it” (Gogh & Shetron 2017 11).

Source:

Gogh, Vincent van, and Kelly Shetron. Vincent Van Gogh: Creative Inspiration. September Publishing, 2017.