250 Days Surviving Without Social Media
April 4, 2020
Overview
Today marks 250 days since I gave up social media. Some people who frequently use social media are a bit curious of what it’s like to live without it, so I’ll share a few things from my own personal experience.
My Social Media Usage Background
Previous to this break from social media, I had been active on social media for about 10 years without taking any breaks longer than a few weeks. I was not on it all the time, but I would say I was probably on it an average amount compared to the people I knew. I had a Facebook (10 years of active use), Instagram (2-3ish years of active use), and Snapchat (almost never used).
My Takeaways From Life Without Social Media
You miss out, but you don’t necessarily actually miss out. What I mean is this: if you choose to give up social media, you will for sure miss out on some things. You won’t know when everyone’s birthday is. You won’t know when major life changes happen for people you don’t often talk to. You won’t know when people take trips, get engaged, or have babies. That is, unless it’s someone you talk to frequently. If it’s someone that you have chose to regularly stay in contact with, you won’t miss much, other than seeing photos to go along with the stories you hear from them.
Your circle of friends may shrink, but you won’t necessarily lose friends. In fact, you may gain more ‘real’ friends. Since giving up social media, I don’t feel like I’ve really lost any friends. Even the casual friends I had in my life that I no longer, am ‘connected’ with virtually, are still friends. In fact, I’ve bumped into a few of them since getting off line, and we pick up just like no time had passed. Real friends will understand your decision.
You realize there are so many people to meet in real life. Without social media, I feel like I’m more aware of the people around me. I never noticed how many new people I see in real life that I’d never seen before. It’s so easy to get caught up in maintaining vague friendships you have online with people you barely know, that you can get caught up and forget the opportunities around you everyday. Sometimes social media made it convenient for me to hold onto every connection/ opportunity I’ve had in my past, and forget about all the new opportunities in the present.
Events happen slower. When I used to be super active on facebook, if I met someone one time, we’d usually end up friends on facebook. This probably made it a little easier to remember their name, and quickly find a few things that we had in common. However, I also have realized that in most cases, if I only meet someone one time, and won’t ever see them again, there’s not a whole lot of reasons to try to know more about them digitally than I gathered on our in person encounter. This may not always be the case, but I’d say that most of the time it is.
You get to be a little mysterious. No one ever asks you questions about how you maintain such an active life on social media, but people ask what life without it is like. There’s also something really beautiful about being unavailable, and people having to actually make somewhat of an effort to get your attention. It seems to help sift through the noise, and help deepen the meaningful relationships you have in your life.
Your patience increases. You can’t just run to social media to share something you created and get immediate feedback. You can’t try to know everything about someone after your first encounter. You really have to work at some things, and others you realize you never needed.
Less comparison. I don’t necessarily know if I compare myself less to others in a matter of status. I think we all do that a bit. I mainly just mean that I compare less about where I am in life compared to others. I’d say I’m more content where I am. When you’re frequently on social media, you’re constantly looking into everyone else’s life. You’re constantly making judgments about what’s normal, and where you should be, based off of where someone else is… Lame.
It’s easier to create. As an artist, it’s tough creating when you feel like everyone else is already doing what you want to do, and doing it better than you believe you can. Before life without social media, I made a fair amount of stuff, but now I literally make new stuff everyday. It’s exciting. It’s more individualized. I don’t care what anyone else is making. It’s an expression of myself without any need for anyone else’s approval. I have no one else to compare with, because I’m not on any platforms to compare.
You kind of give up control. With social media, you’re able to control and curate your life so much to look a certain way. In real life that’s a little harder. It’s hard to convince the people that see you everyday in real life that you’re anything other than you are. You can’t fake it. You actually have to become it. There’s no Photoshop, no filters, and no photo manipulations for real life.
You begin to see that most people who are truly successful on social media, are successful not because of what they do online, but because of what they do in real life. Many people on social media who have major followings, have major followings because they are actually genuinely talented, they genuinely work hard, or they genuinely don’t care what people think. I’m sure that’s not the case with all, but for many it is. People who’ve made social media a career, spend tons of time working on it, and don’t use it the exact same way that most people do.
As an artist, I think of it like this. A lot of people don’t give enough credit to digital artists. They think that in order to create a good drawing, or good graphic design work on a computer, you just have to buy the software and push a button. But that’s far from the truth. To be a good digital artist, you genuinely need to have some traditional skills as an artist. You need to draw well, understand color theory, and understands basics of creativity, and communication, etc…
People seem to like you just as much when you’re off social media as when you’re on it.
You realize that it’s all the same problems recycled in different forms. We all need something else to fulfill us. Social media, or the lack thereof is something new, but that newness eventually fades, and you’re left with the same person you are. At the end of the day, you still have to accept yourself.
You realize, that you can fall into a lot of the same problems without social media, that you had with it. For me, I did great without social media for a while. I noticed some drastic changes. But then I realized I’d still get on my phone and search up stuff about celebrities. Instead of seeing things about people I knew all the time and comparing myself to them, I was now comparing my life to celebrities.
I think it’s really natural to compare ourselves. I don’t know that it’s something that we can totally avoid. I think faith is the difference maker. It’s the only thing counter cultural enough to avoid those traps, and give fulfillment outside of comparison. It’s something that can leave you feeling whole, instead of feeling empty.
In Conclusion
Getting off social media won’t solve all your problems. You’ll most likely still have bad days, compare, find ways to get off task, etc. There are, however, a lot of benefits, and a ton of changes that can potentially happen when you leave it. I think life without social media leads to a huge increase of awareness, and patience.
Some people have no problems with social media, or comparing, or any of that. They just speak their mind and don’t care what anyone else thinks. For some, that comes natural. For others, like myself, I’ve had to work at it.
I think my generation has had more obstacles in front of them in terms of comparison than previous generations, because of all the information that’s been produced. There’s a lot of pressure to conform, but you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.
Overall, the biggest changes are that I have less distraction in my life, and I’ve gained more self awareness. I’m pretty sure I’ll be back on it sometime. There are a lot of benefits to it. In fact, if you’re reading this right now, there’s a good chance I’m already back on. It is nice to know that in the same way I can get back on it anytime I want, I can also leave it anytime I want.