I felt stuck. I felt sooo stuck. I needed to get out. I didn’t know what that meant, or where I could go, but I just knew I could not stay here in this spot, this way, any longer. Not mentally, not spiritually, not physically. It wasn’t working.

But the idea of traveling scared me. I was scared of traveling alone, scared of what I’d miss out on at home while I was gone, and scared I might not be good enough.

So travel became a symbol for me. It was a symbol of the fear of missing out. It was a symbol of leaving behind who I was and embracing who I became. It was the letting go of fear, and the letting go of sitting around and waiting for life to happen to me.

So I planned, and planned, and planned, and then I went. I planned out some big trips. I went around the world. I ditched the anxiety of the present, and allowed myself to think towards the future. I tried to envision my life 10, 20, 50 years from now. What would I want that to look like? Where would I like to be? What experience would it take to get there?

I put myself on a ‘tour.’ I brought a sketchbook and my camera. I sketched on moving trains, planes, and boats. I sketched standing in front of monuments, on top of mountains, in lagoons, etc.

I took the leap. I didn’t care if anyone went with me. I wasn’t worried what I’d miss out on. I didn’t let the fear of doubting my abilities stop me. Fear had owned me for too long. It was time to start approaching it. It was time to change.