Control (Organic)

I always worked hard, and I always had expectations. “When I follow the process, life is supposed to happen like…” Life didn’t seem to be going the way I wanted, so I’d doubled down. I’d doubled down on my work ethic, my level of caution, rule following, control, etc.

I had to hit a wall. It took me longer to hit that wall than most. When I’d hit walls in life, I’d always ran through them, but this, this wall wasn’t moving.

I had to take a different approach to get around this wall. I had to learn that ‘playing my it safe’ was killing me. ‘Following all the rules’ was killing me. Searching for everyone’s constant approval was killing me. No more trying harder. No more running faster. It was time to change the approach.

I stopped trying to ‘control’ so much. I gave up the expectations, and tried to be content wherever I am. I accepted that a I cannot control life.

Life happens organically. What I mean is that, it happens best when it’s lived naturally. We feel our most fulfilled when we live it without expectations of where it will lead. We find enough fulfillment and purpose from the things we’re doing right now, that we don’t ‘need’ a met expectation to fulfill us.

I started to let go of control.

“Life’s the best when your whole design is to lose all control.”

-Quinn XCII