Literal Reconstruction- 3 Knee Surgeries
A few years back I blew out my knee. I tore my acl and had to go through a painful surgery and recovery that lasted about 6-12 months. Fast forward a year and a half later and I blew out the other knee. This time ACL and meniscus. After a misdiagnosis, and the inability of my knee to heal properly, what should’ve been another 6 month- 1 Year recovery, ended up taking about 2 years and 2 surgeries.
As a super active person, these were drastic losses for me. I know everyone eventually loses functioning in their bodies, but I thought it was supposed to happen slower, not right out of college.
But it did. And it was a lesson to me that you can do everything exactly right and still lose everything you worked for.
Having those surgeries on my knees changed me. There’s things I can no longer do, and cautions I have to take. Some days it’s uncomfortable, and other days it’s painful. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful to still have the use of my legs. Not everyone has that, but I also think about the loss, and know they will never go back to the way they were before.
I bet a lot of us have that. There’s some type of pain that happened to us, or something we did that changed us. At the time, we didn’t fully know the affect it would have, but now it’s something we live with, and feel everyday. We feel it with every step, and every breath. Our pain is a constant reminder of what we had, and of what we lost. Maybe that’s just a right of passage into adulthood?
These losses we suffer, and live with everyday, although painful, are also reminders to be thankful. They’re reminders that literally anything, can be taken away in an instant. Its a sobering thought, but true.
When that pain comes, and it changes us, all we can do is rebuild. All we can do is ‘reconstruct’. The pain may never leave us, but it may also act as a tool to build something. Maybe our pain is our purpose, our mission. We connect and we share with others who share it, and we move forward, albeit gently, together through a changing world.
Pain and loss teach us lessons like grace, empathy, and gratitude. Those who experience pain and loss, have a better understanding of the world. We may not get that ‘perfect’ blank canvas back that we started this life with, but we can ‘reconstruct’ something beautiful from the mess we have.